Navigating the Labyrinth of Perception

Amrita Subramanian on Wisdom, Language, and Post-Trauma Growth

Oct 18, 2023

I am beyond excited to share to share some reflections on an intriguing conversation I recently had with the insightful Amrita Subramanian, where we dove into the fascinating realms of language, self-navigation, and the timeless wisdom that resides within different generations.

Cultivating Gentleness for Lasting Change

Changing our deeply ingrained habits and thought patterns requires patience, spaciousness, and self-compassion. Our minds cling loyally to familiar ways of thinking and behaving, even when they no longer serve us. To gently shift this loyalty, we need to approach ourselves with gentleness and patience, allowing time and space to integrate new perspectives that may contradict our instincts. Creating mental spaciousness through activities like long walks, meditation, and journaling helps us metabolize and reflect on new information and experiences. Treating ourselves with consistent kindness and compassion is essential, as our brains are wired for safety and will recoil into old patterns unless we intentionally cultivate an environment of trust and care. Rushing the process or being harsh with ourselves only causes our inner wisdom to retreat further. Real transformation happens when we patiently and gently hold space for growth, allowing the parts of us holding wisdom to unfold. With self-compassion, spaciousness and intention, we can create the right conditions for old habits to evolve.

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Throughout the episode, we explore how trauma can shape our perception of the world and how we can find growth amidst adversity and even trauma. We shed light on the role of language in shaping our experiences and the importance of understanding cultural contexts and relationships as a gateway to reframe our experiences.

The Power of Language and Perception

Language, oh language, the mighty tool that shapes our perceptions of the world. The words we use when discussing trauma and mental health have power in framing our experiences, and how we speak about trauma shapes our ability to heal from it. Observing and understanding our emotions with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment creates the psychological safety needed to process pain and trauma.

Did you know that the Latin and Greek roots of the word "sadness" actually mean an overflowing or fullness of emotion? That's a far cry (that's not a pun, but sure sounds like one) from what I typically thought of as the feeling of sadness. It's incredible how something as simple as the words we use everyday can influence how we experience and express ourselves. Through our discussion, Amrita reveals the limitations and capabilities of language, touching on moments that go beyond words, such as the birth of a child or the loss of a loved one. language as a tool that reveals both our expressive capacities and limitations. The pandemic serves as an example, as it continues to be under-processed, exacerbated by the lack of shared language and giving ourselves and society insufficient time for processing. I'm left pondering: How can recognizing the limitations of language facilitate more effective expression and communication? Have you ever experienced a moment that defied explanation? How did you navigate the tension between the ineffability of the experience and the desire to find words to express it?

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Navigating Life with an Internal GPS

Amrita introduces a metaphorical triangle that acts as our internal GPS, connecting three vital points: ourselves, others, and the world. This intriguing concept represents our initial assumptions about safety, love, and the fairness of the world. But what happens when life events challenge these assumptions, causing our internal GPS to need to upgrade? It leads to a period of uncertainty and the need to make sense of the changes. The pandemic has undoubtedly shattered our assumptions about reality and forced us to grieve the incomprehensible. Further, unexpressed grief and anger can emerge from lost moments of celebration and sharing.

While traumatic experiences are deeply painful, they often lead to post-traumatic growth by revealing inner strengths and abilities to cope. Therapeutic methods like talk therapy, EMDR, and support groups can help us better understand, process, and integrate these intensely challenging experiences. By reflecting on the insights gained, we can learn to transform suffering into wisdom.

Have you experienced a dissonance between your assumptions and the realities forced upon us by the pandemic? How can we recalibrate our internal GPS to find our way amidst the chaos and uncertainty?

Appreciating Generational Wisdom

Amid the pandemic, we witness both the loss of wisdom among elder community members and the growing awareness of climate change among younger generations. This calls for a proactive approach to intergenerational learning, where diverse perspectives, cultures, and experiences converge to foster greater understanding and wisdom. It's a stark reminder that the value of elders often goes unrecognized, leading to a loss of wisdom within communities. Amrita emphasizes the importance of diversity within groups, including different ages, cultures, and experiences, to foster greater understanding and wisdom. As our conversation unfolds, we delve into living in the present moment and creating meaningful connections with others. The question that lingers in my mind is: How can we build stronger intergenerational relationships and honor the wisdom that each generation brings?

Change is inevitable, both in the systems around us and within ourselves. Rather than resisting change, we must embrace it, recognizing the opportunities for growth that lie within. As Amrita reminds us, pain and trauma can be transformative, leading to personal growth if approached with intelligence and wisdom.

Across this conversation language, defining our internal GPS, and appreciating generational wisdom can help us more gently understand and care for ourselves and others. It strengthens us to reframe trauma by learning to see pain as a teacher rather than an enemy, recognizing resilience and strength where we once saw only brokenness. We can reclaim our power to make meaning from suffering, rewrite limiting narratives about ourselves, and emerge wiser and more compassionate.

Here's a few quotes from the episode that keep me thinking. See if you can spot them when listening or watching :).

"Falling in love is a positive trauma, absolutely."

"Language is being. Language is time. And without language, we cannot think."

"Wisdom denied is wisdom grieved."

"The highest form of intelligence is to observe without judgment."

"Those who grow are the ones who are willing to look at their suffering intelligently."

"Observing without judgment is the highest form of intelligence."

"What could be our legacy is that we respect those willing to contribute."

What quotes, ideas and insights get you thinking from this conversation? Let me know in the comments below.